Don't Judge Me.

I don't need you to tell me how hard I'm trying. I know how hard I'm trying. If I'm not trying I'll admit to it. I don't need you to come in and straight up tell me I'm not trying hard enough.You have no right to judge me. You don't know my story. So stop criticizing me. Some people have it easy, I know they are better but I'm trying to the best of my ability. Stop comparing me with them, they don't understand what I've been through. Nobody does expect me. I can't tell anyone and if I do they'll judge me and they'll pity me. I don't need pity, I just need a friend who will listen. That's why I write, to express my feelings on words, to hope for a happy ending. If someone really reads my story, they will be able to see the things I try hard to hide, the same things I'm dying to tell to someone who will just lend an ear to listen.

If you don't like what I do then don't get involved because I don't need you at my neck calling me a failure every time I don't manage to be perfect. I don't need you to criticize me. I already know everything. I know so much more than you do. I don't need you to remind of everything I can't do. I don't need you if you are going to only hurt me further. I express what I feel when I write whether it's happiness, sadness, annoyance, etc. If you don't like it don't read it. I didn't force you to. I wouldn't mind getting criticized if you don't like that type of plot I'm using or the way my characters act/look. But if you just knew me/my outside character and you just judged my writing based on it I will mind. I take every compliment to the heart and constructive criticism as an improvement but if you are just going to insult my writing without even giving it a chance, you don't know how that feels. It's like opening a wound and every time you insult it without even reading it, it's like repeatingly stabbing at that same wound. Why can't you just give it a chance or leave it alone? Why must you continue to torture me like this? It's worse than death and yet to you it's just a harmless insult.

Anime: Fairy Tail

Project

I have this project I'm gonna do and it will be out by next Thursday I think. It would be good to get support just by clicking on the story. Read or just look over it. I will be posting the link here when it is out. Thanks means a lot to me. Summary below.

Rosemary is a quiet girl who isn’t noticed much by others much but then one day she bumps into a pissed guy. It didn’t bother her, what did bother her was his attitude.

“Outta my way!” He said.

 Rosemary is not any normal girl, she’s cursed. This curse enables a second mind to be activated and control the body for a whole week each month. The original holder of the soul will just be trapped in the body and watch as the second mind take over, causing havoc everywhere. There are only a few like her, one of them being her step-brother, Edin, who hates her and blames her for the curse. Rosemary is oblivious to the dangers she’s in but will running into the pissed off guy again help her? Alfredo, her butler and caretaker, on the other hand has caught this serious sickness that paralyzes him. Who will be there to help Rosemary? Suddenly instead of being invisible and having her peace, everything takes a dramatic turn and she’s the talk of the school. People notice her and she’s being bothered by all the attention. To make matters worse it was nearly her time to switch but nobody is leaving her alone. In fact it seems the whole world decided to focus their attention on her. The only person who seemed to be mad about all this is the pissed guy she ran into. Well she never asked for this and still don’t want this. Stella, Rosemary’s so called ‘mom’ warns her that this change isn’t like the ones she’s experienced before this is her 17^th change therefore making it risky to be around the rest of the humans. Nana, her other side seems restless and excited for the change to happen while everyone else is worried. Nana keeps telling Rosemary that something big is going to happen this time but never gives any other detail.

“After this time, I’ll be done,” Nana said.

The news states that mass murders are taking place near, is this somehow connected to Alfredo’s sickness, Nana’s big news, Rosemary’s 17^th change, or the fact that Rosemary is getting more and more in a stupor as the days pass by despite all the attention she’s receiving? Can she survive all this alone? Will someone be there to help her through this? Could that person that helps her be the pissed guy she ran into? Will one decision seal her fate forever or will there be a second chance? This is too much stress for a normal girl to handle but on the contrary she was not a normal girl.

Stupid Moments

What I said: I hate you so much the word hate doesn't describe how I feel about you anymore.

What I meant: I despise you.

What my arch enemy thought I meant: I no longer hate you.

So stupid. -_-

Anime: Amnesia

Hey. Yeah. I Fail.

Yep, I failed oh well I went up to eleven, my fav. number :) Anyways I got a lot to tell you guys. Um first my friend asked me how I categorize people, and I told her it's based on how they are. nice, annoying, pretty, evil, etc. Like one person can be level 1 annoying ---- level 10 annoying and each level would be a different person. xP Secondly my arch enemy had another 'conversation'. He kept telling me to hurry up to finish my paper and I knew he couldn't care less, so the conversation went:

Enemy: Hurry up! You're so slow!

Me: Do you really care?

Enemy: No, I just want to mess with you?

Me: And people say you're nice.

Enemy: I am to everyone but you.

Me: So the truth has been confirmed!!! Preach!!!

Enemy: You started this.

Me: No I didn't, YOU did.

Enemy: How?

Me: You always insult me with no hesitation!!!

Enemy: ----silence---- Hurry up!!!

You see guys, these are the things I have to put up with. Moving on to more funny matters, on the bus with 2 of my friends (guys) who watch anime. They had a picture of Lady Phantomhive and they both said how sexy she was. They didn't watch Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji. Man I died at their expressions when I told them that Lady Phantomhive was a guy (Ciel). They were like 'its a guy???' and 'how can that be a guy???' I was laughing so hard I swear I died. Yeah that's all :D

Anime: Fairy Tail

Day 11 - Long. Busy. Stupid. Day.

Went around everywhere. Did nothing. Bought nothing. Ate nothing. I'm serious I starved !!!! I'm gonna die soon. Ugh life consumingness too much for me. Must update on a lot of things. Well Byeee guys!!

Anime: Uta no Prince-sama Maji Love 1000%

Day 10 - Tiring

Hey guys,
Today was tiring. I don't feel like explaining any further. Sorry guys just not in the right mood today.

Anime: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Day 9 - A Challenge

Hey guys, I planned out a challenge for myself tomorrow because I keep thinking to myself 'I need a savior' but I know that's not happening anytime soon so I decided to settle for this challenge:

I wanna try freak the satans of XxxxX out. So I'm being a nice person AND getting a laugh out of it. My reason/excuse 4 everything would b 'cuz I like you' n I'll say it casually. I wonder who will break first me or them. NOW LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN.

I wonder who will win. > : D I know I'm not gonna give up that easily.

Sorry Not Anime Related Guys :P

Anime: 07 - Ghost

Btw guys yesterday was the last of my journal entries. I could do more but I'm being lazy xD Sorry but ehh nobody really needs to know about them xP

Day 8 - Touching

Awhh, so I read this really touching story. Yeah it was true, and I admit it made me cry.

Link to story ---> https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2930083576539&set=a.1009362079702.2001197.1394460400&type=1&theater#

Okay i don't have much to say but hey I almost reached 10 days!!! xD 

Had to self boast a little. <3

Anime: AnoHana

4/1/13

#11 - It's April Fools Day. Haha yeah it's also the end of spring break. It turns out I officially ship Kagome and Fluffy. Hmm what else? Oh yeah the satans of XxxxX are trying to steal my most precious item again. I got it back though. I visited 'her' again. She seems happy but lonely, I'm happy for her though. Even if she made mistakes in the past and got stuck like that, I think it's great that she's still trying to make the best of it but I could only visit her for a few minutes. I feel kinda guilty but I think it'll be fine.

Day 7 - Good or Bad

Good? Bad? I don't care. It's been too complicated to explain. Anyways here's something from tumblr.

Me no study,
Me no care,
Me go marry,
A millionaire.

If he die,
Me no cry,
Me go marry,
Another guy.

Anime: Sword Art Online

3/26/13
#10 - They've taken everything away from me. I can't even cry in public anymore, the more I struggle, the more restricted and limited I am. My outside character is all they need to restore the balance in their perfect little simple and easy lives. They don't need me, they can act it but people are naturally bad in this cruel world. No one does anything that doesn't come back and somehow fulfill their selfish needs Everyone does things for their own benefits, they do it so often that it becomes unconsciously done. Humans are selfish creatures, a flaw in the so called Almighty God's work. I've got nothing left for them to steal but my living soul, all humans do is want. We don't sin. We are sin.

Day 6 - Um. No. Really. No. Just. No.

So like today typical then people just keep bothering me about why I hate my arch rival. Well I tell ya. He flat out insults me. I was having a nice conversation with my friends then he suddenly pops up and goes 'wait, you're in Geo. H but how? You're so stupid.' And I'm just like am I supposed to respond to that ignorant comment of his? These people from XxxxX are so thick I swear, I mean I don't have the time and patience to deal with people like that. Everyone else is like just give him a chance and be friends, he's a cool guy. Um. No, I don't think so. Some are like 'I think you like him.' Really. No. I don't work like that. Just. No. I can't take it here anymore. No one gets me. At my old school, I could give my friend one look without saying one word and they would know my question. They would answer it before I could even speak. Ugh, people here. I wish I could just go back.

Anime: Black Butler / Kuroshitsuji

3/26/13
#9 - Of only I could break all the promises I made to others and myself, I can break free of this stupid tough girl character I have. Is it wrong for me to weak sometimes? Why can't I just be weak for once? Won't they even give me a chance to start over? To actually be me? Everyone knows me as some happy go lucky, always joking around, care tree tough girl. If I show them negative emotion, it would be too much fro their brains to understand because I was being me and not my outside character, not some fake but the real me. They couldn't understand it so they didn't accept it. I can't just be me, to make sure everything is balanced, I have to be my outside character. I'm not allowed ever to express myself. I have to hide because they can't ever find out. It's too late to show them the real me. It;s too late to tell them the truth. Can't I truly trust someone? Can't I fully tell them my secrets? Maybe one day with an non-existing person but I can foolishly hope till then.

Day 5 - Um... I got nothing.

So I really should be working on updating my fanfics but I decided to finish this today first. Okay so let's see, today I went to some noodle shop, the food was okayish. Then we went shopping and my dad finally decided to buy me a compass which he told me he'd buy last year. -_- Not even sure if I need a compass anymore but oh well, never reject free things unless they're dark sided . xD

Anime: Pokemon

3/14/13
#8 - Never give up on yourself, no matter how bad it might seem. The least you can do is try right? I put effort in a lot of things I did today like baseball, ugh sports right? I was forced to participate in gym today but I tried and got a home run, ugh running right? And the Chem test I thought I would totally fail wasn't as bad as I imagined and I tried,the whole time I thought to myself 'Ugh I'm totally gonna regret this!! Why am I still going on with this?? God, save me!! Help me!! I guess trying helped me improve my confidence. Never give up because you will never be certain what might happen if you never try.

Day 4 - How much Love?

Okay so I decided to actually put something besides mentioning that I accomplish to make it this far which btw is a big accomplishment. So I did this btw it's original so don't copy or steal, if you want to use it credit it back to me.

I love you,
As much as Haruhi is oblivious,
As much as Clannad is sad,
As much as Ciel wins Chess,
As much as Death rants about symmetry,
As much as Tsuna is dame,
As much as Natsu saves Lucy,
As much as Ace loves Luffy,
As much as Mousse needs glasses,
As much as Taiga is a Tsundere,
As much as Yuno is a Yandere,
As much as Kanade is a Kuudere,
As much as Yuki is Dandere,
As much as Karuta loves food,
As much as the number of people who die in Naruto,
As much as Hikaru and Kaoru are mischievous,
As much as the money Mammon has,
As much as Yoru loves Ikuto,
As much as Gintama is trolling,
As much as Miroku is a lech,
As much as people in Kirito's harem,
As much as Ryuk loves apples,
As much as Mikoto is a great king,
As much as Tamako loves the market,
As much as Ash needs Pikachu,
As much as I need you.

How much anime can you name from that one picture?

3/12/13
#7 -  Dying, not because of something bad well kinda. I'm done with XxxxX, it's pushed me to my limit. I refuse to suffer here anymore, I put too much effort out. I'm slowly perishing and losing touch of my reality. Dear God, please save me!!! If I die, I'll come back to haunt here. 99% sure of that. 1% that I might be too busy watching anime. The only regret I'll have is not finishing all anime. Can I die yet? Cupid is not welcomed here, I don't belong here. Take me home. <3

Day 3 - Not so awesome...

Hey I got it 3 days in a row... let's throw a party!!! xD Just kidding I'm in no mood to throw a party couldnt make it to Spanish Honors. Well at least my arch rival didn't make it either but still I'm upset. Well I guess I could always try again next year but still... Btw I got this random J-pop song stuck in my head trouble is I forgot which song it is Oh woe is me.

Anime: Black Butler

3/8/13
#6 - I'm a dreamer. Is that so wrong? I want to do big thins. change the world maybe. Cure cancer, become a therapist, own my own fashion line in my own store, become a writer, become the head of a big newspaper company, move to Japan, live in a big mansion in Japan, run for vice-president, get a Quachi, become an actor, director and script writer, and have my own imagine corner where I help sponsor kids with their own big dreams. I believe in magic. I believe in miracles. I believe and that's all that matters because this is my dream and I want to achieve it.

"If you can dream it, you can do it. After all this all started with a mouse and a dream." ~ Walt Disney.

Day 2 - Happy but Pissed

Hiya!!! I got good news then my happiness got crushed. Poo!!! Okieee so basically today I was happy but then i had a conversation with my arch rival and let's just say he's not the most humble or nice person. Ugh just talking to him subtracts 10 years of my life span. Second day let's see when I fail xD

Pic: Teen Titans

3/8/13
#5 - My species, is that really me? They say lying to yourself is the worse possible thing to do but a lie can become reality and that doesn't seen too bad to me. I don't  have emotions, I'm a rock, I don't feel. Humans are interesting, they can be so happy on the outside yet hide so much on the inside. To humans dreams will always be a fantasy, I guess that's why I'm my own species. I don't belong in any human group. The human world can be so sad sometimes. I would pity them if I showed any emotions at all. Human desires are strong because of greed, they will always want something. They say pride is the strongest deadly sin because of Lucifer but is it really?

Day 1 - Let's see.

I realize I don't post here often so I'm trying this little challenge to see if I can consecutively post here for a month without missing a day. So somehow these days I keep thinking about my old friends when I find that my other friends have the same attitude. I guess you could say I'm trying to get accustomed to XxxxX but I don't feel I hate it less. xD Oh well I try.

Anime: Clannad

2/12/13
#4 - She is a mask of deception. No one can see how pathetic she is. She's insecure but doesn't shot it. She goes through a lot of pain but rather die than admit it. She's a mask of deception, she's weak, no one knows, she's never showed it, she never told. She's a coward, afraid of the truth, hiding in the lies to keep her safe, to keep her sane. But even the mask of deception can be cracked, she hides and she cries, no one knows but herself and in the morning if anyone questioned it, she'd lie. She's a mask of deception that can't be penetrated, she's strong they say she's brave they think, she smiles and acts oblivious. I'm fake she thinks.